Super Lawyers
William C. Altreuter

Monday, April 05, 2004

ESPN's predictions for the season.

"April 23 -- Chipper Jones turns 32 years old and declares he is sticking with "Chipper" as his name even though he should have grown out of it about 25 years ago.

"May 14 -- Mike Piazza starts his first game ever as a pitcher and gives up 29 runs in a blowout loss to the Astros. However, he hits opposing starter Roger Clemens four times in the head with pitches, and beans him repeatedly with pickoff attempts to first base.

"May 15 -- The home plate umpire calling the Padres-Cubs game receives a complaint that David Wells' gold chain and huge, disgusting body is a distraction in the batters box.

"June 9 -- The Orioles honor first baseman Rafael Palmeiro with a Viagra Giveaway Night promotion. The stadium is packed during the early innings, but most fans have cleared out to go home or check into nearby hotels about an hour into the game.

"July 13 -- American League All-Star manager Joe Torre leaves starting pitcher Curt Schilling of the Red Sox in for the entire game. The National League wins 3-2 in 11 innings.

"August 18 -- Leading the majors with a .364 average, Cleveland's Coco Crisp is placed on the front of the Wheaties box.

"Sept. 23 -- The White Sox pull a prank on visiting Royals' first-base coach Tom Gamboa, hiring two shirtless men two jump onto the field and chase him around while Gamboa receives absolutely no assistance from Comiskey security personnel."

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