Friday, November 07, 2003
William Saletan goes to traffic court. "I paid for an appellate hearing so I could ask the judge how I was negligent. "You didn't look carefully enough before pulling out," he said. "I did look," I said. "The defendant must have been going too fast." The judge stared at me blankly and replied, "Well, if you had looked carefully enough, the defendant wouldn't have hit you."
I was incredulous. "Your Honor," I asked, as politely as I could, "If the standard of negligence is that I got hit, how could any plaintiff ever win?"
An awkward silenced followed. To my relief, the cabbie punctured it by leaning into his microphone and exclaiming, "Your Honor, I find the plaintiff very argumentative!" The judge laughed and told him, "Of course he's being argumentative! He's making an argument." Then, with a gentle smile, the judge concluded, "However, I reject his argument and find for the defendant." Case closed."
I've had arguments like that, and I do this for a living. Hilarious.
I was incredulous. "Your Honor," I asked, as politely as I could, "If the standard of negligence is that I got hit, how could any plaintiff ever win?"
An awkward silenced followed. To my relief, the cabbie punctured it by leaning into his microphone and exclaiming, "Your Honor, I find the plaintiff very argumentative!" The judge laughed and told him, "Of course he's being argumentative! He's making an argument." Then, with a gentle smile, the judge concluded, "However, I reject his argument and find for the defendant." Case closed."
I've had arguments like that, and I do this for a living. Hilarious.
// posted by Bill @ 8:42 AM 
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