Super Lawyers
William C. Altreuter
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Wednesday, August 18, 2004

I dunno, does everybody have a hard-luck ball club that they kinda like, but don't actually root for? Mine has always been the Expos, which is weird, because they play in the same division as the team I actually like. I can't help but wish better things for them then they ever get. About as good as it gets for them is Gary Carter throwing the team a bone and going into the Hall of Fame in an Expos' cap. (I wouldn't be seen in an Expos cap. Ugly for one thing. Look like beachballs.) The Expos are just snakebit-- whenever it looks like they might contend, there's a strike or something. The Cubs got nothin' on the Expos (and the Red Sox are just whiners).

The Astros are like that, too. Someone should look into just how it is that a team that always seems like it has the talent it needs to contend somehow manages to fall short every single time. As close as they ever got was the '86 NLCS-- as good a series as I've ever watched (Carter hit .148 for that series, by the way, with one double). How psyched were Astros fans this winter when the Yankees let Andy Pettitte slide from their fingers to sign with his hometown team-- and then persuaded Roger "Wicked Fat" Clemmons to come out of retirement and join him? Who'd have thought that Clemmons would continue to be Clemmons, and Pettite would end the season with elbow surgery, 6-4 with a 3.90 ERA in 15 starts? I mean, sure, there is a big karmic debt for artificial turf, and those uniforms never helped, but it would really take a heart of stone not to feel bad for the Astros.

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